I sit here tonight in front of this bright contraption composed of wires and chips. I suspect that I'm the only soul tonight who is still awake. While the devious phantoms of nightmares await my rest for the night, I sit here in front of this contraption to listen to my heart and gather my thoughts...
Many things have happened since I first stepped in San Beda. Since I first heard the Alma Mater hymn and stepped inside a classroom with thirty-nine male students. It was a new world for me for never have I been exposed to an all-male society. And somehow, deep inside of me... I knew something will go wrong sooner or later... like it has always been.
After that day, three years just went on but not really in a daze. It was fast, but I move in it without thought, without being cautious, and worst of all, without any thought of virtue. But as I linger in the darkness for three straight years, I still carried a small flicker of virtue with me. The promise that I made in my sophomore year that shaped my inner self and later on would take over me in my senior year.
As I've said, I lingered in the darkness for three straight years. But somehow, as if God Himself flipped on a switch, the darkness was banished. I opened my eyes and looked at myself... I was a senior with graduation only a few months ahead of me. I knew I was getting there because I could feel the gusts of its winds beckoning me, luring me into the new world called college. But despite the winds, I wasn't lured into the daze that it brought. For as I opened my eyes, the light also enlightened me about myself. It's like I was submerged into a sea and was allowed to see the bigger part of my iceberg. And since that faith ful day, never did I wander around anymore. I became well aware of what i have done and up to now, I'm still atoning for my sins...
Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. Then graduation practice came. Nine days of marching, singing, and clapping. It was like clockwork, over and over again. It was like the long breath before the great plunge into the new world...
And now, I'm here, sitting in front of this bright contraption which appears to have a mind of it's own, inputting my very thoughts, pouring my heart down into words while regret always haunts my mind from time to time like a frequent visitor only to nag me of my imperfections. If only I could turn back the hands of time, I would be a much better person today. A skirmish avoided, a reputation established, a few conflicts resolved, and lots of tears and heartaches erased would've made my high school life a fantasy world. But alas, what has been done is done. All I can do is to move forward and continue to atone for my sins...