Remeber my last post about my "unconscious poem"? Well, I fugured there's something more to it than plain doodle. So I contemplated on it for a whole week always reading it every lunchbreak for about 5-10 min. Well, so far, I was able to bring those two poems together and I was right... there's something more to it than doodle and it's not nostalgia alone... So far, this is what I was able to accomplish:
I am a tool and nothing more
UNable to fly, unable to soar
A creature of darkness
Submerged in sadness
Trapped in a world of corruption
Waiting for my damnation
Always taken for granted
Called only when needed
Snobbed, ridiculed and sometimes hated
While the devious phantoms haunt my sleep
And the wraiths torment me with their shrieks
But that's alright because I know
I'll never be happy and meant to be alone
Because once, I did all kinds of sins
Pillaging and destroying myself from within
Consumed by the devil's diablerie
Culturing the seeds of misery
A tortured soul who lost his glory
Abused his gifts and tainted his nobility
Enclosed in a cage of regret
Unforgeiven and unable to repent
I hoped for the Spring Wind to rejuvenate me
But instead, all I got is a one year treaty
One year again to stay in the darkness
Sitting in the vast emptiness
While shivering in the harsh coldness
of the squalls of the tempest
It's not really finished yet and I still have to edit some parts. I feel like I'm still missing a few verses and I'll just edit it when I have the time.
Grbe, yesterday was just tooo darn creepy... I felt like as if I was in a suspense thriller or something.
Yesterday (July 2, 2005), I had nothing to do kasi I was bedridden because of my leg injury so I got my pad paper and a pen and started to write verses. I was just writing... without any thought. I just wrote whatever I was feeling. I wasn't even writing according to my style (close number of syllables) but I stilll made sure that what I wrote rhymes. When I filled a whole page, grabe... I was so shocked. This is what I wrote:
Nostalgia kicking in
Walls closing within
Haunted by the silent screams
Deafening, ringing in my ears
Enclosed in a cage of regret
Unable to forgive, unable to forget
Punished, unable to repent
Accompanied by sin and its foul scent
Darn it... this is just too darn creepy. And the word NOSTALGIA kept on ringing in my head. Maybe I miss the old days na nga talaga. The high school days... But I think there's something more than Nostalgia because aside from that poem, I also wrote this:
I am a tool and nothing more
Unable to fly, unable to soar
A creature of darkness
Submerged in sadness
Trapped in a world of corruption
Waiting for his own damnation
Darn it. What is wrong with me. this is just too darn creepy...
