Too tired to stand up
Too tired to get up
Heart completely drained
Body drowning in the rain

Four Thousand Times, I've been stabbed
Four Thousand Times, I've been damned
Chewed, spitted out, and rejected
Shunned, throwed away, and degraded

Oh Death, please take me
Mortis, embrace me in your bosom, release me
Take away the selfishness and jealousy
Stop the pain, the bleeding, the agony

Oh God, smite me now
For I am a sinner who loved too much
I poured my heart out again
and rejection was what I got in the end

Oh Spring Wind, where art thou?
Still waiting for you up 'til now?
Darkness still around
Heart bleeding on the ground

Fourth Time I've been strucked
Fourth Time, came bad luck

Oh Fourth one, hear the cries
Of your lover that suddenly died
He died because of the pain that you caused
The pain of your rejection and his loss

Oh Fourth one, are you happy now?
Oh Spring Wind, where art thou?

Ba't Di Mo Pagbigyan
by King
album: The Reason I Exist (2004)

Bakit ba hindi pwedeng maging tayo
Ang nais mo ay kaibigan lang ako
Dinamdam ko ng lubos ang mga sinabi mo
Wala na ba akong pag-asa sa puso mo
Pag nakikita ka ako’y nangangamba
Lagi kang umiiwas sa tuwing lalapitan kita

Chorus:
Ba’t ‘di mo pagbigyan ang pag-ibig ko
Tapat naman ang puso ko sa ‘yo
Bigyan sana ako kahit konting pagkakataon
Ba’t ‘di mo pagbigyan ang pag-ibig ko
Lahat ay gagawin para sa ‘yo
Nakikiusap sa konting pagkakataong
Mahalin mo.

Sana ay magbago ang damdamin mo
At dinggin mo ang pakiusap ko
Makasama ka kahit saglit ay tatangapin ko
Patutunayan ko sayo mahal kang totoo
Ngunit pag nandyan ka na
Ako’y walang magawa
Lagi kang umiiwas sa tuwing lalapitan kita

Chorus:
Ba’t ‘di mo pagbigyan ang pag-ibig ko
Tapat naman ang puso ko sa ‘yo
Bigyan sana ako kahit konting pagkakataon
Ba’t ‘di mo pagbigyan ang pag-ibig ko
Lahat ay gagawin para sa ‘yo
Nakikiusap sa konting pagkakataong
Mahalin mo

Chorus:
Ba’t ‘di mo pagbigyan ang pag-ibig ko
Tapat naman ang puso ko sa ‘yo
Bigyan sana ako kahit konting pagkakataon
Ba’t ‘di mo pagbigyan ang pag-ibig ko
Lahat ay gagawin para sa ‘yo
Nakikiusap sa konting pagkakataong
Mahalin mo....ohhh...mahalin mo

Title: UlanAlbum: Half Empty, Half Full
Artist: Cueshe

Lagi na lang umuulan
parang walang katapusan
tulad ng paghihirap ko ngayon
parang walang humpay
Sa kabila ng lahat
ng aking pagsisikap
na limutin ka
ay di pa rin magawa

Hindi naman ako tanga
alam ko na wala ka na
pero mahirap lang na tanggapin
di na kita kapiling
iniwan mo akong nagiisa
sa gitna ng dilim
at basang-basa pa sa ulan
Pero hwag mag-alala
di na kita gagambalain
Alam ko naman ngayon
may kapiling ka nang iba
Tanging hiling ko sa'yo
na tuwing umuulan
maalala mo sanang may nagmamahal sayo.....

Lagi na lang umuulan
parang walang katapusan
tulad ng paghihirap ko ngayon
parang walang humpay
Iniwan mo akong nagiisa
sa gitna ng dilim at
basang-basa pa sa ulan

Pero hwag magalala
di na kita gagambalain
alam ko naman ngayon
may kapiling ka nang iba
Tanging hiling ko sa'yo
na tuwing umuulan
maalala mo sanang may nagmamahal sayo....ako
LaLaLaLaLaLa..........

Today, I did the hardest thing I can ever do in my entire life... I let go... I know I'm sorry if I hurt you... But I think its better this way... Dont waste your life on me... You're better off without me in your life... I dont want to hurt you over and over again so I'll have to hurt you for the last time... By letting you go...

I'm not running away.. I'm just fighting the urge of wanting something that can never be mine... I can never be good enough for you or anybody... I'm sorry...

What will be my next move? What will happen next?

Those two questions kept on ringing in my head...

I asked Mikko those 2 questions and we talked about it...

Mikko: Follow do what u feel like.

Jessie: Mikko, think of the circumstances...

Mikko: Ok, batsa pagisipan mo na kung anung gagawin mo. Take your time.

Jessie: Mikko, kahit na anung gawin ko, hindi ako makapagisip arrrggggggggggggggghhhh!!

Haaaay, as u noticed, unsolved prob pa rin to... ewan ko ba... time will tell... but no one can impose on me as u said it (u know who u are).

6 Universal Cards

how you feel about yourself now (The Hierophant)
You feel a need for advice or wise council or perhaps spiritual consolation. Someone, or perhaps immediate events, will provide moral and practical guidance. Perhaps you are considering being such a tutor, counsellor or spiritual advisor? You desire the tried and tested traditional values, so when considering your options, this approach will prove wiser than adopting an unconventional novel approach. For example, marriage is more likely to be your desire than a living together situation.

what you most want at this moment (Death)

The cards suggest Jessie, that what you most want at this time is absolute change, to end what you no longer want and start anew. You desire to transform your career or your love life, perhaps your whole lifestyle in general. However catastrophic such changes could be, embracing them will only make you grow in wisdom and experience.

your fears (Wheel Of Fortune)

You are in fear of everything turning for the worse for you, perhaps you are experiencing a run of bad luck. You have to trust that most of what we fear never happens and as The Wheel of Fortune turns downwards against you, the wheel will naturally turn upwards again and bring good fortune to you too. This difficult phase will pass.

what is going for you (The World)

Success, fulfillment and conclusion are near at hand - the successful outcome to a venture, satisfaction in a relationship and efforts rewarded. It is a culmination of events and indicates material wealth and greater spiritual awareness. You may choose to buy that dream house or a wonderfully fulfilling relationship is on offer, enjoy!

what is going against you (The Tower)

However hard you try to control events they just won’t go your way. Unexpected challenges, upheaval and disappointment will bring expectations to an end. Subconsciously you may have wanted a solution, you just didn’t expect it to happen this way. Use this period of change as an opportunity for a new beginning. If you have been planning to move home you will be experiencing setbacks.

outcome (The Star)

This is a time of good luck and fortune, perhaps after a period of struggle and heartache. Good health, possibly after a time of illness, and good fortune that will give you a new zest of life. If considering a new love affair, new job or career, or travel, then go for it. You may also receive a gift or gifts!

Perhaps...

Perhaps the biggest mistake in my entire life is that I imposed on people...

Perhaps I'm not really a nemesis of God...

Perhaps the gates of redemtion are not really closed...

Perhaps... not all of this is true...

Mirror is shattered

Blood has gushed out

Daggers have been stabbed

And now I cry out loud...

Redemption is already in front of me...

All I need now is the key to open its gates...

My mind is as unpredictable as a shadow, but my heart is as transparent as glass...