Wednesday, January 25, 2006
I promised... but promises are sometimes meant to be broken, for the heart will only laugh at it for it is he that controls the real me....
the love you can't have lasts the longest, feels the strongest, and hurts the most
Still feeling the pouring rain at 7:44 PM
I fear not my own demons,
Nor the wrath of the storms.
I shiver not before His presence,
Nor His angels in legions or scores.
I mourn not at the shattered glass that beats,
Nor the pulsing wound that bleeds.
For into oblivion, my hert I threw,
The same heart that fell in love with you.
But in my oblivion, my heart still sings,
The requiem for th pain that clings,
In this body where my soul withers,
For in my past, I'm binded to linger,
Binded in shackles of guilt, doubt, and pain,
Suffering for eternity over and over again...
the love you can't have lasts the longest, feels the strongest, and hurts the most
Still feeling the pouring rain at 7:39 PM
Friday, January 20, 2006
"The greatest enemy you'll ever engage in your life is not lucifer but yourself"Last night, I just had the most gruesome battle with my conscience. My demons of the past against my redeeming self. All the sides of my personality with their own desires, clashing together inside my mind, turning it into chaos with such force that it brought shivers upon my whole body. Somehow, my selfish side just took over me (again) after that very second that... but my will to change for the better would not have it and my promise to myself slapped me in the face for letting my selfishness take over again. Promise, Selfish, and Change were at it again...
Promise: Damn it Jessie!! You can't have it all!! She has a life too you know?
Selfish: You've been kind enough to deserve that kind of recognition Jessie. Demand your rightful place!!
Change: Oh shut up! Screw the recongnition! Screw the right place or whatever you call it. Intrinsic Excellence Jessie, remeber. Virtue and ethics. Why the hell have u been studying that if you won't apply it!!?
And they went on and on... I don't even want to mention the other characters.
And after I attained physical peace, they took the battle to my subconscious... to my dreams...
After I woke, it was then that I realized that the vile essence still lurks in me. It heats up whenever I feel insecure, forgotten, and...
Sorry if I had you worried last night Tin. Forgive a rambling fool. You deserve better...
the love you can't have lasts the longest, feels the strongest, and hurts the most
Still feeling the pouring rain at 8:25 AM
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Once again, I invoke the piece that voiced out my soul...
The void is still closed,
The pain still grows.
Memories linger inside,
So in my shell I hide.
I promised myself to move on
Her painful memories begone
To set myself free,
And return to my true nobility.
But the love is still inside me.
Winter has already ravaged my leaves,
But Spring isn't still here.
When will my leaves be replaced?
When will the memories be erased?
Each day is like a century,
Each flashback is a bitter memory.
That my other half has left me,
Deserted, left only with self-pity.
But the void must open,
So Spring can enter. Then,
My leaves will be replaced,
The memories shall be erased,
And all shall be forgotten...
the love you can't have lasts the longest, feels the strongest, and hurts the most
Still feeling the pouring rain at 9:11 AM
