Down into Oblivion
The lowest bowels of hell are reserved for the traitors...
I always questioned the fact that why is it that every noble intention I had always backfired?
I tried to change him... I defended him from everyone whop picked on him and told them to stop. I defended him from everyone who spoke ill of him and told them that he could still change... I didn't care about the fact that people were already getting irritated of me because I became his "buddy". All I cared about was the end of my mission... to change him and to show to everyone that anyone can change for the better as long as they have the right influence...
But I was wrong...
I learned that he was lying behind my back... I almost got into a fist fight with one of my close friends because he twisted the story between us. He told me and Chex that the boys were talking behind our backs... He was backstabbing me... He was manipulating me into getting mad with the boys... He knew that the boys would never accept him because of his attitude and he knew that I was ok witht he boys and I go with them occasionally. As long as they're in the picture, he knew that I will always go with them from time to time which means that as long as they're in the picture, he'll always get ridiculed by the boys... He had to act. That's why he was uttering whispers... talking behind our backs, making us fight each other.... Chex and I against the boys... that was his plan... Good thing the boys knew it from the beginning. And so, he eneded up in the corner, all alone...
He used me... He betrayed me... He manipulated me... And I will never forgive him because of that... Too bad.. He just lost one of the most loyal friends he could ever had... and he will take it down to the lowest pits of hell and spend his afterlife there for all eternity....
I despised everything that the stereotype guy stand for... I hated the prying eyes of men at the sight of women, i hated the way they laughed and ridiculed emotions as a thing only for the females. I hated the insensitive, gym-aholic, car crazy stereotype guy itself... and I thank God that I'm not that kind of guy.. (well, except for insensitive type maybe because some people se me as tactless).
No matter what I do, I'm just not like them... I never got turned on at the pictures of FHM magazines (but I loved rerading the Bar room jokes and ladies confessions. So funny:p). I never liked to play basketball or billiards. I enjoyed sharing and talking, heart-to-heart talks with close friends. I loved to argue about the philosophies of life especially on the subject of love. I loved watching 'chick flicks' because maybe it satisfies my deep need for emotional stimulant. Does this make me queer?? Does this make me weird?? I wouldn't know...
So, I'm an emotional person, big deal...
I loved listening to people spill their hearts out no matter what emotions they were conjuring up from their very souls... I loved listenning to them while my brain goes on hyper mode, searching for the right words to comfort the tempest that screams deep inside them because of the pains brought by the realities of life.
I've always tried to be a nice guy... I wanted to be the nicest guy ever. I wanted to be the most trustworthy person that anyone can have as a friend. I wanted to be the perfect friend.. always there when you're down and always there to cheer you up. I was never really the stereotype kind of guy... I was always different...
But lately, ever since the first month of classes.. I was always engaged with hatred.. walking side by side with him as I try to survive my college life. this is what I called 'The politics of Block C'. But I don't want to do this anymore.. I dont want to hate and sneer at people behind my back... I just want all ofn this to be over... I don't want to bear grudges and talk about people behind their backs...
So I just want to say sorry to essy, nikki, chesca lou, martin, tin, cil, angelo, bea, mika, angie, rom, pico, enzo, and kevin. I just want to apologize for everything that I did, whether you know it or not. I never wanted any of this to happen. i was supposed to be neutral... I was supoosed to be the refferee. I shouldn't take sides nor should I participate in the fight. But I couldn't help myself... I just don't want to hate anymore... I just want to fix everything before I transfer to Block I.T. I don't want loose ends or past grudges... just want to fix everything up...
