Ok, this is my second post for the day and again, it's about my thoughts... (it's all metaphors so it might not make sense)

Am I really meant to be alone? Am I merely a tool of God to help people in their personal problems? Is it really His will for me to be alone so I can concentrate in doing my work?

This thought of mine has alrady received countless rejection in the past but I still hold on to it because the evidences are just too loud and clear...
Everytime I try to get my own happiness, something always turns up and then... I fail. But I always move on, get on with my life, and then wait for another opportunity. But everytime I try y luck, it's just no good... I always fail in the end. I've been through a few relationships but none of them are normal and I'd rather be single than stay there. Oh how i envy my friends and classmates...
But then, right now, the most obvious evidence just came to me all of a sudden. It's like God just pinned me down in this place and told me to stay there and don't wander around your duty anymore. And to make it weirder, I liked it here... yes, I liked the place where The Mighty Smiter pinned me on. For me, it's not a prison, it's actually a place where I really belong. Well, sure it's not perfect and it's not exactly the way I like it but the sun told me that someday, it might be, we just have to go with the flow... But no, I'm not hoping anymore, but I don't want to move on even though others assured me that there's a better place for me out there and they even offered their help. But I refused all of them. I'd rather be here than any place else. Well, sure, it's not perfect and occasionally, thorns prick my very heart and soul but this is where I belong and I don't want to move on. Yes, I DON'T WANT TO MOVE ON, and I WILL NOT MOVE ON. Mikko, you think I'm not serious?? Well, I'll show you and you'll see!!